I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Send help, water and tortillas.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
