We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Randomize
