I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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