Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
