i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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