does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
