I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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