doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
it was like eating out sand paper
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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