census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
im holly from the hills drunk
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
