sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
