do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
