I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
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