Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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