O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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