You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
