ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Randomize
