so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
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