my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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