Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
