He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
