We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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