she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
