so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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