did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Randomize
