Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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