these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
