that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
