Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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