yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize