i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Just invented taco cereal.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Randomize