People with herpes should wear stickers.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
