People in love make me want to vomit
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
