just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
