I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
