is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Gay?
German.
Pity.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
