and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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