Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
i dont even know how to be here
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
