how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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