What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
