Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
