Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
