I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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