I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Swine flu. Run for my life!
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Randomize
