Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Randomize
