If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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