nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
