Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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