mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
