Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(602): View more from Arizona

how was that guy you hooked up with?

(415): View more from California

i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing

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(254): View more from Texas

When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery

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(916): View more from California

They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.

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(205): View more from Alabama

Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook

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(908): View more from New Jersey

i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair

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(303): View more from Colorado

just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.

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(714): View more from California

So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.

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(604): View more from British Columbia

Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.

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(251): View more from Alabama

OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS

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