we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Randomize
