i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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