did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
