She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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