he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
