my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
