is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jger and an empty bed here Friday.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
