i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
