Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
