I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
