My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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