it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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