He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
They have beer where we have blood.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
