Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
