found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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