do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
